You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December 2008.
Resolutions
As I reflect on the year 2008, I am drawn to the end of 2007. I had a multitude of aspirations and goals for the New Year. I would be the successful owner of a multi-million dollar network marketing business and I had every detail of how my prospects would jump at the chance to work with me. I was going to be driving my Mercedes with the help of my dream team. Making $35,000 per month, Chris was going to be able to minister on a more full time basis if he wanted to. We would have the funds to remodel our house, possibly selling it to move to the country. I will loose upwards of 80 pounds 8 weeks at a time, I would get back into the body I had when we were first married. We were going to be able to start a family and we could plan our month long trip to Italy. I was looking forward to finding a new spiritual director and becoming a daily communicant and weekly confessing my sins. I was never going to work for anyone else ever again. I was never going to allow other people to write my story. I was going to be in complete control. Can you see where this is going?
Unrealistic Expectations, is my middle name.
With the close of 2008 a day away, I am reviewing the year. I am actually heavier than I was before I started my initial weight loss challenge. Loosing and gaining over 30 pounds. I have in-fact quit two jobs and am stressfully waiting for my temporary contract to be over to be hired as a permanent employee. Because of my time without work, taking a pay cut our fianances are out of wack. I have been consumed with the lack of money. Even though I know this is a self-fulfilling prophecy I kept thinking about it. When March rolled around I all but quit my network marketing business. The dream team I spoke of stopped abruptly severing all communication. Devastated, I put my business on the back burner; I even let my website lapse and I’m not looking for team members. Then my birthday came. Normally second to Christmas as my favorite day of the year. However, I turned 35 in July. It hit me with such force I was completely unrecognizable afterward. Because of the state I was in and my second unfulfilling job, I succumbed to the evil one by letting him and not God rule the thoughts in my mind. I knew God was there for me, but I couldn’t see Him to reach out to.
Along the way I still prayed.
I was so down that, I was not rational, I could not be talked to and Chris could not console me. I was falling and I couldn’t find foot holds on the mountain I’d made out of a molehill. I was argumentative. I was mean. I took my frustrations out on my husband and not my employer, which would have been justifiable, although still not acceptable. The only comfort I found was in watching television, eating and sleeping. Although I had episodes off and on until my birthday the severity of my feelings of regret, loss and seeing how much of my life I had wasted were truly painful. Almost a month after the big 3-5, on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception I sat in the first pew of St. Francis Cabrini Catholic Church. Trying to keep the tears from falling, I prayed for the job I had interviewed for earlier in the week. I prayed that my boss would take my resignation and treat me fairly. Most importantly, I prayed to God that His will be done and not mine. I focused on Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane and how I wanted to move past the dark months my mind and soul had been consumed with. I felt cold and alone on that hot summer day. As I returned to work my heart leapt and the clouds in my mind lifted as I was offered my current job. Our Lady, my Holy Mother had given me the gift of her Son in my life with this job. The Fall proved to be a change not only in seasons but in my journey.
Revelations
I have a new spiritual director. Teresa and I have been working together since January. She continues to be a most valuable asset. Teresa walks with me on my journey. Christ works through her to help me work through these feelings, my desire for Holiness and getting back to that daily prayer I talked about almost a year ago. The Lord through this remarkably Holy woman has helped me realize that I am much richer than I thought. I may not be running a multi-million dollar network marketing business but I am a success. I have very many things to be thankful for. I am reminded of what made me happy in the past and evaluating hobbies I had let sit for far too long. I’ve grown in my gift of faith and gained wisdom and am able to look toward the New Year with confidence. I am slowly working on my new routines and changing habits. After an unfortunately busy Fall, Chris and I have been able to get back into our date nights and the value of spending time, even if in silence, together. Remembering that our relationship is the most important relationship we have next to our relationship with Christ.
With Teresa’s help, I am realizing that the Lord waits for me. He wants me to turn off the distractions and let Him in. He wants to be able to help me go back to all the hurts, resentments and struggles. He wants to be there with me as I forgive and let go of the memories I hold in the shiny gold boxes in my mind. He has given me the incredible gift of faith and now it’s time to move to the next phase.
Grace
My hope is that by listening to the Lord I will keep the desire to follow through with the many goals and dreams He has put on my heart. Going back to my roots in my gift of painting. Playing my guitar. I’m even researching ideas to write a book. Motherhood. Whatever Christ has in store for me on this part of my journey I know through Him all things are possible.
The time I spend in prayer each day with Christ I continue to learn from Him. By allowing myself to just “be” instead of “do” is a great source of release for me. My soul is then receptive to the graces Christ is waiting to give me. Being open to this grace is a humbling experience. He’s reminds me that I am His child. Unique and loveable, He loves me unconditionally.
My bags are packed for my journey and I’m taking what I’ve begun learned with me:
• God is in control and my Holy Mother Mary is in the details
• My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and I have to treat it as such
• Keep your eyes on Christ and do whatever He tells you
I may have wanted 2008 to be great; however, I believe that 2009 will be divine. Of course with a little help from above.
My grandma Ruth was an amazing woman. She loved to laugh. She was good for a joke and loved to entertain. Card parties were her speciality and she loved to travel. She was an amazing cook and a wonderful neighbor.
My time growing up was very blessed with both Mom and Dad’s parents living in North Platte. I spent a lot of time with both sets of grandparents. But Grandma Ruth was the last to go home to the Lord, so I spent much more time with her as an adult.
A devoted friend she spent many evenings playing cards with the ”girls”. Most of them widowed too she was the ring-leader of many escapades. I remember she was the youngest of the three who took a road trip out West. She was designated drive at 70! Thelma and Alma along with her at 80 and 90 years old respectively. She loved baseball and anything that had to do with being patriotic. She was also a night owl. If she wasn’t home by 10:00 pm I knew she was having fun with the “girls”.
She loved humor and unbeknown to many of her friends she really enjoyed the song, Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer. She’d never admit it in mixed company, but she did.
Grandma was diagnosed with cancer in 2003. She died on the 16th of December. Tuesday marked the 5th anniversary of her death. She died at home with her children with her (my Mom and her 2 brothers). We buried her on a snowy December 22th. That day, a Monday, we filed into the First Christian Church in North Platte. Pastor Steve had wonderful remarks and he shared as well as the written memories we had of this wonderful lady. Grandma wanted her car used in the procession and my cousin Ryan was the driver. As we left church to the waiting cars, we warmed up waiting for the procession to make it’s way to to Fort McPherson, Ryan reached over and turned up the radio smiling. Christmas music was serving as the silence breaker and we both laughed (and cried) uncontrollably when Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer was playing on the radio. To me it was enough to know that Grandma was not only with us but always will be.
Her loss was very profound for me. I took for granted her mortality. Although, I was able to say good bye to her, her loss was difficult to adjust to. But having something of humor to remind me of her has been the biggest blessing during the times I need to remember the joy she brought to my life. She taught me how to bowl, drive and love my heritage, my roots. That sentimentality is shown all over my house. From the model windmill in my back yard to the cistern from the Pollard family farm to the milking stool from my Aunt Wilma’s farm. These pieces of my heritage are what make me who I am today and what I hope to share with any children we may have.
Cherishing the memory of Grandma laughing a a quirky Christmas song is one piece of my heritage that will last for years to come.
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
walkin’ home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as Santa.
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.She’d been drinkin’ too much egg nog.
And we’d begged her not to go.
But she’d forgot her medication,
and she staggered out the door into the snow.When we found her Christmas mornin,’
at the scene of the attack.
She had hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin’ Claus marks on her back.Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
walkin’ home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and Grandpa, we believe.Now were all so proud of Grandpa.
He’s been takin’ this so well.
See him in there watchin’ football,
drinkin’ beer and playin’ cards with cousin Belle.It’s not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family dressed in black.
And we just can’t help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?
(Send them back)Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
walkin’ home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.Now the goose is on the table.
And the pudding made of fig.
And a blue and silver candle,
that would just have matched the hair in Grandma’s wig.I’ve warned all my friends and neighbors.
“Better watch out for yourselves.”
They should never give a license,
to a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
walkin’ home from our house, Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
(Sing it Grandpa)Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
walkin’ home from our house, Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
With just a few days to Christmas and I thought it was a good idea to talk about keeping Christ in Christmas. In today’s world it is nearly impossible to not get sucked into the materialism of the season. Watch any program on television and you will be bombarded with everything you need and everything you want. Not to mention everything no one really needs. And some things only come out during the Christmas shopping season. Cha-cha-cha-Chia Pets and The Clapper. Followed by a joyous “Happy Holidays!” Okay, since merchants keep moving the Christmas shopping season earlier and earlier each year, the phrase Happy Holidayscan cover everything from Halloween to New Year. However, the whole reason for the shopping extravaganza is the birth of Jesus. It’s called Christmas after all. For over 2,000 years, billions of Christians have celebrated the birth of Christ. The Magi came from the East to worship the new King of the Jews. Not even being Jews they knew the influence a King from the line of David would have on the people of Israel. The story starts long before the gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Murr were delivered in homage to baby Jesus.
In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a town of Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the house of David, and the virgin’s name was Mary. And coming to her, he said, “Hail, favored one! The Lord is with you.” But she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father, and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” But Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?” And the angel said to her in reply, “The holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God. And behold, Elizabeth, your relative, has also conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren; for nothing will be impossible for God.” Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” Luke 1: 27-38
For over 2,000 years formal traditions in the Church have given rise to many personal traditions. For as long as I 
can remember I’ve enjoyed the anticipation of Christmas. Advent Angels, Wreaths, and calendars marked the days before the blessed event. Even with all the presents I knew as a child that this was the season of Christ’s birth. Christmas Eve was my favorite day of the year. We would gather at Granny’s for dinner and presents. But before the presents were opened, a candle was lit and we all sang Happy Birthday to baby Jesus. This simple gesture not only gave us all pause before we dove into the presents, it reminded us of the true reason of the season.
Recently our traditions have been, Chris assisting at Midnight Mass and a traditional Polish breakfast the next morning with complete with an Oplatki.
Polish, Slovak and Lithuanian background families are observing this Christmas Tradition. Family members and friends break off a piece of oplatek and give it to one another to eat, expressing the best wishes and blessing upon them and asking for forgiveness.
This is a tender, touching family celebration of love and forgiveness.
What traditions do you carry from your family of origin to your current family?
I am a huge movie buff. I love to cheer the good guys and hate the bad guys. Love to cry and laugh but would rather not be scared. I was really enthralled with Silence of the Lambs, however, I can only watch it in the day light, ensuring time to clear my mind of it all…“it puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again.’” ‘Aaaaahhhhh! Chris would agree on this whole-heartedly. He and I were at the theater to see What Lies Beneath when I all but ripped the clothes right off him several times during the movie. I finally had to compose myself as the people around kept looking as the shrieks were stifled in my coat.
Stop it you’re scaring me! Both movies are fantastic, just a bit to much for my tender heart. I’m a huge chicken of scary stuff. I can’t even watch Unsolved Mysteries.
Top 10 Favorite Movies:
- Dances with Wolves & A Christmas Story (tie for sure)
- Charlie Brown Christmas
- Good Fellas (after witness protection & his divorce from Karen, Henry Hill retired to North Platte, NE. My home town!)
- Casino
- Godfather (all three, but 1 in particular)
- Thunderheart
- Casa Blanca
- When Harry Met Sally
- Legally Blonde (both)
- Princess Bride (no Chris, it’s not the dumbest movie ever made)
What makes a great movie? For me it’s the ease at which you become part of the movie.
Dances with Wolves
Šuŋgmánitu Tȟaŋka Ob’wačhi
What an unbelievable movie. I have always had a special affection for the American Indian. Sad is our history with them. A 
conquered Nation of Peoples left to live on Reservations. The Governments answer to “what do we do with them now”. Their buffalo all but extinct, infected with small pox and alcoholism, told they could no longer live where they had for centuries; what does that do to a People? When the great Chiefs where finally forced to surrender (some at Ft. Robinson, NE) the humiliation of defeat had to be unbearable. The great Tribes they lead, were now disbanded.
Dances with Wolves is a movie that shows one aspect of the potentially thousands of stories of finding ones inner self in an unexpected manner. John Dunbar, Kevin Costner’s character discovers that he is more Sioux than a White man when he befriends his neighbors as he realizes that being stationed at Ft. Sedgwick is not a going concern. Which by the way is a real place near Juelsburg, CO. Some of the movie was filmed in present day Wyoming, South Dakota and Kansas, but mostly on the Triple U Buffalo Ranch near Ft. Pierre, SD.
I’ve often thought of what it would have been like to be living in that age in Flat Rock the Sioux name for my home town of North Platte.
“Nothing I’ve been told about these people is correct. They are not beggars and thieves or the bogeymen they’ve been made out to be.” Lt. John Dunbar (Kevin Costner)
A Christmas Story
“You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out!”
Ralphie, the bullies, the Toadies, the Triple-Dog Dare You and the Leg Lamp! 
The quintessential Christmas movie from a kids point of view. I was blessed with a pretty vivid imagination I can completely relate to Ralphie and his day dreaming about the Official Red Ryder BB Gun and the escapades he would have keeping his family safe from Black Bart.
A Christmas Story has become a tradition around our house. When I put up the decorations I watch the movie. When I write out Christmas cards I watch the movie. As I wrap presents I watch the movie. Then through out the season I watch it a few more times, not to mention the 24 hours of it on TBS. The unbelievable cult following that this movie Peter Billingsley started in takes place in Indiana in the 1940s.
So many things about the movie are memorable. The “major award” mistaken for being Italian, the ridiculous bunny costume for a boy anyway. The F— word. All of it I laugh until my face hurts. Even the hillbilly neighbors dogs who eat the Christmas turkey. “that was the year we were introduced to Chinese turkey.
I applaud the writers, actors and directors for entertaining us. For making us believe better things will come. It’s a Wonderful Life Sending us on amazing adventures The Chronicles of Narnia Giving us the spirit to never give up. The Pursuit of Happiness Helping us laugh until our faces hurt. National Lampoons Christmas Vacation The classics that have become a tradition in many American households. The Sound of Music, The Wizard of Oz and the before mentioned It’s A Wonderful Life continue to be enjoyed by families of all ages. Movies have become a sanctuary for me. When I need a good cry I watch Beaches. When I feel the need for revenge I watch Goodfellas. A good love story When Harry Met Sally or Out of Africa.
What movies move you?
I have been a fan of Jim Henson’s Muppet’s since I was a kid.
Miss Piggy is my favorite. 
Her love affair with Kermit is as timeless as it is hilarious. Her air of sophistication and street made her the “pig next door” so to speak. Someone to have tea with and toilet-paper your neighbors house with all in the same afternoon. Her temper flaired with the speed of the boomeranging fish thrower Lew Zealand. Her style and grace (or lack there of) were something fun to watch. When I was growing up I enjoyed watching the Muppet Show while my mom was making dinner. I still enjoy watching the Muppet’s as a reminder of simpler more innocent days.
A few years ago I picked up some of the movies that Kermit and the gang put together. My favorite is The Muppet’s Take Manhattan. With theater degrees in hand, the new college grads head to NYC to sell their show. Tragedy befalls them in this slapstick comedy with Kermit as an amnesia suffering Phillip Phil. Lost in the Big Apple stuck in an accounting firm. All the while the gang tries to get the show to opening night and Piggy is on the rampage thinking her Kermet was betraying her for Jenny the waitress at Pete’s Diner. Dabney Coleman, Gregory Hines and Art Carney also star. I’m not sure if it’s the thrill of watching Muppets co-exist in society or laughing with childlike enthusiasm that rats really can cook food. Skating on skillets with pats of butter tied to their feet. This movie has it all. Mystery, intrigue, love, action, violence (mostly by Miss Piggy) and Joan Rivers. You remember the makeup counter scene? What more can you want!
Muppets often started in movies or speicals with other famous actors. In 1979 John Denver and the Muppets starred in a television special and an album was made from it. Of the songs on the album, my all time favorite is the 12 Days of Christmas. ”Five gold rings” and classic “ba-dum-bum-bum,” by Miss Piggy
